I wonder why people overlook the single most important function of a tree. Don’t worry! This is not another sermon on global warming or deforestation; No sir! I believe the most important function of the tree is to provide the correct obstacle course for the heroine (or the side chick or the random backup dancer or basically just any stick wrapped in a saree) to be chased around. Have someone scream “Aashiq Banaaya Aapne…” in the background and your script for the next Bollywood blockbuster is ready.
I mean, can you really picture romance without at least one scene where you go running around trees? The trees have always been the guardians of romance. Where else would the hero hide, while peeping to watch the heroine (or hopefully her friends) taking a bath in the river? Where else would Jayakrishnan (Jagathi from Meleparambil Aanveedu) perch his sorry ass on, when his parents find out that their maid servant is pregnant? The trees, since time immemorial, have been the refuge that lovers (including “one-side” lovers) run to. Is it a wonder then, that the censor board chairman has to issue “A” certificates every time he visits Cubbon park?
I blame this deforestation for the present state of affairs. As the trees have begun to disappear, so has romance from the air around us. We, instead take refuge around mobile towers, because these towers have slowly replaced the old sentinels of our romance. Sadly, romance today is confined to the screens of our phones, to be controlled and regulated by the whims and fancies of a few.
If only we’d search for Romance the way we do that elusive WiFi signal. If only these trees provided WiFi, we’d have found ways to plant them on the oceans. Alas! The trees only provide Oxygen. And as for us, we’re only interested in finding that WiFi signal even after Romance tries to slap, punch, kick, or take a lawn mower to or basically just hammer and tongs on our face. Sigh…
