Have you noticed how every other woman that pops up on your “bumble” feed calls themselves “free spirited”? Does she mean she likes “spirits” when it’s free? Because the only other way to actually free a spirit is by umm… err… dying no? (Not the one you use to hide your greys) Or maybe they did free themselves from their bodily prison and for some strange reason, decided to go on Bumble. It’s surprising that their “unfinished business” on Earth is to get “friend-zoned by” or “hook-up with” a random stranger. They can’t really be looking for an “after-life partner” cause c’mon! Aren’t spirits supposed to know better?
Curiously, some of them admit that they are “old-souls” which perhaps only means that they’ve been on bumble for a long time without any success. Well that makes one and a half of us. Or perhaps these “old souls” have only figured out how to make a bumble profile and are still figuring out the “swipe” thing. I suppose you’ll actually have to run your finger “over” the screen rather than “through” it in order to register a swipe. Perhaps all the recruits they found outside those Silicon Valley offices opted for the “blue” pill and they’re still waiting for their “Neo” (Matrix reference) who would finally find the way to help them register swipes on Bumble and Tinder. Then perhaps they can go further and even unlock their spouse’s phones and check their internet browsing history. (Although I strongly urge them not to).
Anyway, until they find their Neo, they just lie in wait… Just a bunch of spirit profiles floating around cyberspace, doing nothing more than filling up Bumble’s server space… But they too will have their time to swipe.… Until then, let them Rest In PCs… Cheers.
